A SPEAR OF TEARS; JANNAH AWAITS
My words fail me but I pray
My knees knuckle but I stand
Self-love, strong self-worth and confidence are very essential in life
At least, that is what lots of people say
But the truth is sometimes you turn to someone for confirmation, for a second opinion, just to be sure
An opinion that sometimes overrides your own
But what if you have no one
What if there is someone but not the one you would prefer
It appears that when it comes to you, words fail me
My vocabulary suddenly is lost
My mind is instantly blank
And my head throbs with chaos and understanding
How ironic or maybe paradoxical, whatever
An indication of my spinning head
I look to your chair and it's vacant
I look to your bed and it’s been folded
Your throaty laughter has suddenly vanished
Your hilarious jokes are no more
Your absence is much obscene
The children in your house are calling your name
They are looking for you to sing for them to dance
Where is that your toothless smiley mouth
Why has it closed now
When will you open it again
Where are you, we are calling, please respond
You sung in beautiful and melodious ways
Children slept with the sounds of your songs and some danced to the tunes of your mouth
Parents walk from their homes to your house just so you would sing for their babies
Your daughter is happily married
One of your most honourable achievements few weeks to your demise
She misses you, a lot, all of us do
I see it in her eyes
I hear it in her speech
I see it in her movement
But she will miss you even more when she finally gives birth but you’re not here to sing for her child
And oh yeah, I also graduated from school successfully
Ruth clothed me on this day
She covered up my scars or at least she tried to
And she succeeded for a time
But the thought of not coming home to you soon flooded my mind and it broke me
One glance at me and Hawa, Khadija’s sister asked me what was wrong
I told her it was nothing and that I was fine
But she looked at me in a way that told me she sensed my lie and I found encouragement in that
At least, someone saw through me
I’m now home
You should know that I occupy your room now
I’ve tried to renovate it small
I’ve removed your bed
I don’t have a mattress but don’t worry, I will manage the floor for sometime
Your wife
My siblings
Well, I will tell you how they are feeling later
Life sits on a pendulum of balance
A life is given and a life is taken
A life springs and a life shrinks
But it doesn’t make it any easier to bear
It's either chants of jubilation or of sorrow
Allah says life in itself is a test
You had your fair share of that
I don’t know how to deal with all of this
Anytime I pick a laptop to type, instead of words, tears flow
We miss you, Papa, every second of the day
When I regain control of my words, I will write you a series of letters.
Until then,
Easy journey, Papa
Jannah awaits
“THE ONES WHOM THE ANGELS TAKE IN DEATH, (BEING) GOOD AND PURE; (THE ANGELS) WILL SAY, “PEACE BE UPON YOU. ENTER PARADISE FOR WHAT YOU USED TO DO”.” QURAN 16:32
My knees knuckle but I stand
Self-love, strong self-worth and confidence are very essential in life
At least, that is what lots of people say
But the truth is sometimes you turn to someone for confirmation, for a second opinion, just to be sure
An opinion that sometimes overrides your own
But what if you have no one
What if there is someone but not the one you would prefer
It appears that when it comes to you, words fail me
My vocabulary suddenly is lost
My mind is instantly blank
And my head throbs with chaos and understanding
How ironic or maybe paradoxical, whatever
An indication of my spinning head
I look to your chair and it's vacant
I look to your bed and it’s been folded
Your throaty laughter has suddenly vanished
Your hilarious jokes are no more
Your absence is much obscene
The children in your house are calling your name
They are looking for you to sing for them to dance
Where is that your toothless smiley mouth
Why has it closed now
When will you open it again
Where are you, we are calling, please respond
You sung in beautiful and melodious ways
Children slept with the sounds of your songs and some danced to the tunes of your mouth
Parents walk from their homes to your house just so you would sing for their babies
Your daughter is happily married
One of your most honourable achievements few weeks to your demise
She misses you, a lot, all of us do
I see it in her eyes
I hear it in her speech
I see it in her movement
But she will miss you even more when she finally gives birth but you’re not here to sing for her child
And oh yeah, I also graduated from school successfully
Ruth clothed me on this day
She covered up my scars or at least she tried to
And she succeeded for a time
But the thought of not coming home to you soon flooded my mind and it broke me
One glance at me and Hawa, Khadija’s sister asked me what was wrong
I told her it was nothing and that I was fine
But she looked at me in a way that told me she sensed my lie and I found encouragement in that
At least, someone saw through me
I’m now home
You should know that I occupy your room now
I’ve tried to renovate it small
I’ve removed your bed
I don’t have a mattress but don’t worry, I will manage the floor for sometime
Your wife
My siblings
Well, I will tell you how they are feeling later
Life sits on a pendulum of balance
A life is given and a life is taken
A life springs and a life shrinks
But it doesn’t make it any easier to bear
It's either chants of jubilation or of sorrow
Allah says life in itself is a test
You had your fair share of that
I don’t know how to deal with all of this
Anytime I pick a laptop to type, instead of words, tears flow
We miss you, Papa, every second of the day
When I regain control of my words, I will write you a series of letters.
Until then,
Easy journey, Papa
Jannah awaits
“THE ONES WHOM THE ANGELS TAKE IN DEATH, (BEING) GOOD AND PURE; (THE ANGELS) WILL SAY, “PEACE BE UPON YOU. ENTER PARADISE FOR WHAT YOU USED TO DO”.” QURAN 16:32
YUSSIF AHMED IBN YUSSIF
Hmmmmm
ReplyDeleteIt's well my brother. God knows best
ReplyDeleteit's always best to leave everything to God.
ReplyDelete