FOR IF I DIE YOUNG
I have lots of aspirations
But I don’t know when I will die
I don’t know which of my aspirations I will fulfill before I die
What if I am unable to fulfill any of them
In the next decade, I would have become a published author
I would have become a journalist
I would have studied for my master’s degree
I would have been an entrepreneur
I would have been studying law
I wouldn’t have been married yet, maybe
I would have put up a building or buying one
These aren’t all I want to do
All I these I want to do before I turn forty
Barack Obama says it is not enough to go through life with only passion,
You’ve got to have a plan as well
Well, I have plans
Roadmaps to achieving my goals
But some roadmaps lead to dead-ends
I am not my only responsibility
I have four younger sisters and a ‘son’ to take care of
They would’ve been my father’s responsibility
But I watched him take his last breathe just a few months ago
So the mantle now falls on me to be the man of the house
But what if I die young
Who would fulfill my targets
Who would take care of my younger siblings
Three nights ago, I thought I was dying; my head throbbed, the body pains was immense; I could hardly breathe
I was surprised to find myself alive the next morning
I’ve been walking around with lots of pains in my body
But I carry on anyway
The pain intensified so much that I had made my peace with death
If I had died, all my aims would’ve been unfulfilled
They would’ve been the dreams of a village boy who toiled and fought his entire life
But died before he could fulfill his destiny
I would’ve been buried by now, my mom and siblings grieving and the world moving on
After all, death is a necessary evil in life
Now the pain has subsided
I am not completely healed
But tomorrow is Monday; I have to be at work
I don’t know how productive I will be tomorrow
I still feel a sharp pain in my neck and across my back
A good friend of mine, Mary, came by my house yesterday
She stayed for some hours and in those hours, I felt better
She said I looked better than before
I smiled and in my head, I knew she was right but I still feel awful and lots of pains
If I had died;
Whether or not I would’ve gone to heaven, only God knows
We all worship God hoping that one day, during the after death
By the mercy and will of the forgiving God, we will not be burnt eternally
I am a Muslim
But I am also a free thinker
I believe we can go to church and still ‘sin’, big time …. (Yussif smiles)
For what is life without sin
There is bliss in sin but there is hope in good
Life is a struggle
Everybody, rich, poor, young, old, have their own versions of the struggle
A friend called me last night and was surprised that I was going to bed on an empty stomach
I laughed it off
What she doesn’t know is that some of us at least, for the meantime, have made our peace with life without food; it is an everyday struggle
Not everybody gets to fulfill their destiny in life
Or at least, achieve a certain level of success
Count yourself lucky and blessed if you’ve achieved your targets and still targeting for more
Life doesn’t stop until that last breath
Keep surging forward but help those around you
For a true life tends other souls
I am still alive but what if I die young
YUSSIF AHMED
ahmed.yussiph@gmail.com
But I don’t know when I will die
I don’t know which of my aspirations I will fulfill before I die
What if I am unable to fulfill any of them
In the next decade, I would have become a published author
I would have become a journalist
I would have studied for my master’s degree
I would have been an entrepreneur
I would have been studying law
I wouldn’t have been married yet, maybe
I would have put up a building or buying one
These aren’t all I want to do
All I these I want to do before I turn forty
Barack Obama says it is not enough to go through life with only passion,
You’ve got to have a plan as well
Well, I have plans
Roadmaps to achieving my goals
But some roadmaps lead to dead-ends
I am not my only responsibility
I have four younger sisters and a ‘son’ to take care of
They would’ve been my father’s responsibility
But I watched him take his last breathe just a few months ago
So the mantle now falls on me to be the man of the house
But what if I die young
Who would fulfill my targets
Who would take care of my younger siblings
Three nights ago, I thought I was dying; my head throbbed, the body pains was immense; I could hardly breathe
I was surprised to find myself alive the next morning
I’ve been walking around with lots of pains in my body
But I carry on anyway
The pain intensified so much that I had made my peace with death
If I had died, all my aims would’ve been unfulfilled
They would’ve been the dreams of a village boy who toiled and fought his entire life
But died before he could fulfill his destiny
I would’ve been buried by now, my mom and siblings grieving and the world moving on
After all, death is a necessary evil in life
Now the pain has subsided
I am not completely healed
But tomorrow is Monday; I have to be at work
I don’t know how productive I will be tomorrow
I still feel a sharp pain in my neck and across my back
A good friend of mine, Mary, came by my house yesterday
She stayed for some hours and in those hours, I felt better
She said I looked better than before
I smiled and in my head, I knew she was right but I still feel awful and lots of pains
If I had died;
Whether or not I would’ve gone to heaven, only God knows
We all worship God hoping that one day, during the after death
By the mercy and will of the forgiving God, we will not be burnt eternally
I am a Muslim
But I am also a free thinker
I believe we can go to church and still ‘sin’, big time …. (Yussif smiles)
For what is life without sin
There is bliss in sin but there is hope in good
Life is a struggle
Everybody, rich, poor, young, old, have their own versions of the struggle
A friend called me last night and was surprised that I was going to bed on an empty stomach
I laughed it off
What she doesn’t know is that some of us at least, for the meantime, have made our peace with life without food; it is an everyday struggle
Not everybody gets to fulfill their destiny in life
Or at least, achieve a certain level of success
Count yourself lucky and blessed if you’ve achieved your targets and still targeting for more
Life doesn’t stop until that last breath
Keep surging forward but help those around you
For a true life tends other souls
I am still alive but what if I die young
YUSSIF AHMED
ahmed.yussiph@gmail.com
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